so i've finally caught the much talked about
movie of the moment; 'you're the apple of my eye'.
a good movie to weep to, if you're the weeping kind.
my friends think i'm cold just coz i don't cry during movies.
sooooo untrue. i teared once.
it was hard not to be moved and somewhat
affected by the raw sadness emanating
from the person beside me that one time.
i mean, she was heaving and sobbing and snorting
and was going through tissue after tissue...
anyway.
some people who've watched it said it
reminded them of their secondary school years,
and their secondary school crush(es).
and then it hit me.. i've never had a crush.
in secondary school, at least.
while some of the other girls were setting up
fan clubs and stalking their fav guys,
i was pretty much indifferent to all of them.
probably coz i was too blinded by my first boyfriend at that time.
an older korean guy, the bad boy that the girls loved. at that time.
the only vivid memory i have of the time we had together
was when 4 girls from his school came all the way to my place just
so they would know who their stupid rival was. damn, were they smitten.
and damn was i happy when the relationship ended.
not trying to be an ass, i'm sure he's an awesome guy now,
it just wasn't right for me at that time.
ANYWAY.
my point is that it's hard to feel that way anymore.
that whole 'crushing' feeling. the innocent kind.
it's also hard at this point sometimes to love, and just love,
without caring about external factors; time, distance, work & shiz.
we need to try and love that way again.
love, and just love, without any other care in the world.
xx
